Thread: The time with Brahma Kumaris

In 1991 I had extreme back problems, so I was searching a Yoga Group in my town. I had to stop with my job, so I had less money. Actually at this time I had not much knowledge about Yoga.
I was driving with my car, then I saw a sign on a house " Meditation and Raja Yoga School"
I didn't know that this was the Brahma Kumaris Sect-
I made an appointment and I was surprised to get to know that the yoga lessons are for free, just for donation. I was a little bit disappointed that there were no hatha yoga exercises, but the teacher told me that I have to take more care about my soul..........
So I made the course of 10 Chapters, the whole philosophy about Brahma Kumaris.
In the meditation hall there was a lamp hanging on the wall in the form of an egg and you had to concentrate on the middle of the light, fokusing on your third eye. From the beginning I could feel an vibration in the third eye and my teacher told me, that this is the connection to Baba, the supreme soul. This vibration was just like a drug for me.
So I was thinking, wow what a great effect and my teacher told me, that I'm a special soul.
My teacher was very strict, and there was no sex allowed, he always said when you are horny take a cold shower!
He said you are not the body only the soul. So in this time I was fully denying my body and feelings like anger, hate or jealousy.
I had to practise virtues, starting every morning 6 o clock with morning meditation in the center. Writing the words of the following lecture in a book, cause I was called a student.
This lecture came from a holy woman from India, she was like a channel for the divine words of Baba the suprem soul, preparing you to become a pure soul. Because then you will come to the golden age. They always influenced everybody, that in the year of 2000 the world cycle will be finished and only the choosen ones will come to the golden age.
I was not allowed to read any books or scriptures, or listen to any other music which is not from Brahma Kumaris. So I was selling all my old Rock and Blues Records, selling all my books, because this was all maya, illusion and bad energy.
On one hand it was good cause in that time I was reading Castaneda, Crowley and Thimothy Leary, trying all kinds of drugs for to get a new consciousness.
So I stopped smoking, drinking alcohol, eating meat, taking drugs........
I also stopped to make my psychedilic music in my session band.
I left all of my old friends and wanted to become a pure soul.......
By the time I was so much influenced that I went in morning at 4 o clock and also at the same day to the evening meditation. I renovated also there the center, because I had no job.
The students had to write every hour the time of meditation - soul connection- in a chart, the best chart was published in the center for the others.
I was only alowed to eat in the center or to prepare my own food. I remember how hard it was for my mother that I didn't eat any of her lovley cooked food, when I was invited by her.
It was only allowed to wear white cloths and not wear any leather cloths.
My teacher fond in me a good student so I finsihed the class quickly and became meditation teacher, teaching beginners. I was also sitting on the stage in the meditation room giving the drishti -energy to the others.
I remember once I wanted to have a walk with an older sister, but then my teacher said to me, that I should only walk with male persons. So in this way I was fully supressing my sexuality, because my aim was to come with them to Mount Abu, where the headquarter of Brahma Kumaris was. So after not even one year I came for my first time to India. Staying only in the Brahma Kumaris Ashrams.
In Mount Abu was a hughe meditation center, of course male and female in different houses.
Whole day meditation watching the egg form light, feeling the supreme soul............
Then there was the special day then this old lady came on stage, talking with a deep voice like in trance, connected with the supreme soul as a channel. So everybody was in bliss, flying high.........

When I came back home, I wanted to join the center. So again I was selling my last things......
But then I met my Sitar Music Teacher and I wanted to become his disciple. So I said to my meditationteacher that I will be for three month not in the center. Then my teacher threat to me, that if I would do this, I will loose all my energy...........I'm just lost in hell......
I was much afraid but my wish to learn indian sitar music was so strong, that thank GOD I could leave this sect.
Afterwards I realized how much I was manipulated and brain washed. It took me a long time to love my body again and to accept all the feelings of myself.